Doodleyscratch

“i am riding marsha-go-round”

cold war

13.6.11 || 7:48:00 AM

so here goes.

a girl had a best friend.

her best friend liked a guy. the kinda guy that people would say 'he's got the look, the talent, the brain'. she confided lots of the story and her feelings to the girl.

the girl, on the other half, during all the up-and-downs and all unpredictable events, happened to be friends with the guy.

it didn't start out planned, it just happened.

to the girl, you can believe it or not, it was never the number one factor all those people first capture of him.

to her, it was not the look, it was not the talent, it was not the brain.

for she had known from long ago that he indeed got the look, and he indeed got the talent, and he indeed got the brain, and that indeed he was dreamed by most likely all the girls around her.

but all those were never the ones that made her fall.

the girl wasn't quite sure how and when she exactly fell for the guy.

she just knew that she was really comfortable around him, he made her feel safe and happy.

he confided the secrets he never told people to this girl.

he could be on the phone with this girl for hours.

she could be just the way she was whenever she was with the guy.

the guy brought out the best in her.

but the girl, not aware of the love growing inside her, thought he just considered her as a friend.

after all, he was thought by everyone as 'the star', and happened to have a lot of friends which are, well, girls.

so time passed by.

the girl felt the strange and uneasy feelings inside her grew stronger and stronger.

she started to worry, if she had fallen for this guy.

but she told no one.

she thought, 'what's the use of making fuss of nothing? besides, he would never think of me, i could never win his heart, well, i wouldn't try to, for the sake of my best friend.'

so it was all shut tight in her heart.

she stopped encouraging her best friend so often for she felt like a hypocrite, she didn't say a thing when not asked.

she pretended to like other guy, just to convince her own heart that nothing had happened.

sometimes, she couldn't stop crying at nights when she was having war inside herself.

well, for this was the case: the clock was ticking, they were graduating soon.

she really had to make up her mind, whether she would confess her feelings to her best friend and try to win the heart of the guy, or if she would just keep everything shut.

she had no answer. not yet.

she kept having those two persons most endeared to her heart close to her, and just be happy for those rare moments.

she kept loving and caring for her best friend,

and she also kept caring for the guy - though with him *she supposed* unnoticed of it.

but then that day came.

graduation day.

after all night of partying, hugging her best friends tight like it was the last time, she got a surprise. or a shock, if we want to be more precise.

the guy - whom was 'the guy' for two girls at this exact time in this story - got up on stage.

after a few pauses, he finally said that he liked the girl. the girl that thought that he would think nothing of their friendship. the girl that thought that it was unlikely that something could actually happen between them.

well, the rest of the story is rather clear.

the girl postponed the clarification until she had spoken to the best friend she had unintentionally hurt.

but the best friend said nothing but forgiveness and blessings.

she could barely believe her luck - that she had such an amazing best friend yet she also got to have the guy she most loved.

happy ending? well, not really.

time, again as it always does, passed by.

it turned out that her best friend had not really forgiven nor forgotten about all those past events.

the girl felt strongly guilty. for she had made her own best friend suffer, and worst, lost faith in thing called 'friendship' and 'hope'.

she apologized several times. she did not break up with the guy, though. not with her heart so sure of their love.

the girl then tried everything she could to avoid breaking her best friend's heart even more.

she did not post the status nor pics in facebook, she avoided posting walls to her guy's profile.

but it was hard. it was hard to keep the best friend from hurting while not making the guy like the second priority.

she also had to make sure that she did not make her guy uncomfortable with the posting.

but then the guy wondered to the girl, 'why are you so exclusive about us dating?'

so the girl changed everything.

she now dared to post walls, pics, status, and everything.

BUT, she also kept it so that it would not be seen by her best friend.

she always hit the button 'DO NOT PUBLISH' in facebook whenever she posted pics.

she always erased the notification in her profile of her posting walls to her guy.

however, the story ended *hopefully just for a while* with the best friend blocked her facebook profile.

the girl then realized that her best friend no longer wanted to contact her, or to know anything about her anymore.

so she backed off. she didn't want to confront and push her.

maybe, just maybe, some things are just too hurtful to forgive.

a few days ago, the girl met her best friend for the first time after a long while.

they did not greet each other. they did not look at each other.

it was as if they two did not recognize the other's presence.

solid ignorance, ended up in total pain for the girl.

how she longed to greet her (former?) bestfriend, to say how beautiful she was that night, to ask how the MC-thingy she got was going, or even just to smile at her and have her smile back at her.

but nothing happened. the girl went home early for she was sick on that day.

leaving everything behind.

leaving the cold war arena.

leaving her (former?) best friend, with her boyfriend on the phone and tears welling in her eyes.

Labels: c'est la vie, friendship, love