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She don't got a lot to say, but there's smthg about her.

*LADY-A!
Hiyaa there, everyone!
My name is Marsha, but people always call me Acha. Hence, my name is Lady A. *i know, i know.
I am currently 19, meaning I am enjoying my last year of ages '1-something'. I am a dreamy, random girl; a fusion between mature and childish who cannot stop thinking. I love a lot of things, now watch me rock my world *and probably yours as well.
-Follow me on Twitter! @marshaimaniara

to see the old archives, click the title 'i am riding marsha-go-round'

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Happiness, is having a scratch for every itch.

your doodle.

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Time changes everything, even you and I have changed.

My friends
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Love this
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“i am riding marsha-go-round”
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punishing myself
9.10.10 || 5:54:00 PM

hello, people! (x
how's life been treating you lately?? great, hopefully, cos you totally deserve it!
i, myself, are experiencing hectic hectic times now in college. what with the upcoming mid-term exams, committee stuffs, training in radio...

hey, guess i forgot to tell you the updates.
first.. i got accepted in IREC (international relations english club), an organization under the international relations students union. as what?? as staff of the funraiser division - responsible for fun stuffs like movie reviews, and the nearest event to come about is... halloween party! (x im responsible as the member of event division, specifically as liaison officer (L.O.) for shante band.
next.. i got accepted in Unpar Radio Station (URS) as producer! yaaaay (x the screening was tough, slightly above the IREC screening test. but thank God i made it yaay hhas now i have to go through some stages of training, but they're all soooo FUN. like heaps. *winkk. the newest members of URS must also prepare an event for the seniors, call the "initiation".
and... third is... RUN, which stands for "Remarkable and Unforgettable Night". this is an event, held by the FISIP (Faculty of Social and Political Science) students year 2010 for the seniors. the theme this year is all about environment. i came up with the tagline which is "fisip for our planet - a charity night". yeah cos basically this event will also contribute for a charity (;

and nooow.
i just finished the novel "eat, love and pray" in one day yesterday. and im obliged to tell you: the boooook IS great. totally. it brings up new perspectives on viewing life, misery, and how to put the misery behind. how to deal and forgive yourself, even others. i found some issues in the book really relevant to mine, and it helps a lot! (x totally recommended. and as far as i know, the movie is now playing in cinemas near you. correct me if im mistaken. hhas cant wait to watch the movie, but... heck, im facing midterm exams starting NEXT monday. gosh. wish me luck, folks. hhas

anyway.. despite reading a great book - fyi, it also encourages me a lot to keep trying and be closer with God - i cant help 'punishing' myself just this afternoon. i dont know why.. just the fact that the problem had never been totally clear..

well, i guess im confusing you. let's move back a sec, then. i'll give you an abstract. let's say.. i hurt someone. i was the one to rely on before this happened, and i really never meant to hurt. well i dont really know actually. i chose. but my choice hurt someone. and this has never been comunicated clearly. i dont really forgive myself. i still cant. so i keep punishing myself over and over again. i keep flickering thru that person's wall, reading all the quotes about liars and betrayers. i cant decide whether it's really my fault. or even, if it's a fault at all. i guess i did make a mistake, i wrong that person. i hurt that person, i fail that person's faith. but.. this isn't a matter i can really choose easily. this isn't a matter i can give up - yet i also dont wanna give up that person. for i still care about that person, i just dont know how to show it. i dont know how to act as if nothing ever happened. i reaaally wanna talk this thru. but i guess it's too late.

im usually not the kinda person who dwells in problems too long. but this one problem.. it never really ceases. sometimes it's pushed into the background, but soon it will resurface. and it will make me feel all wrong.

im still sure about the choice i made. the way i feel.. the way the "other person in this case" feels and makes me feel.. but im not sure about the person i hurt. im not sure what im supposed to do. how to act. what to say. how to make things right.

or...
is it too late to fix things up..?

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