A Letter from the Wasted

You come to me whenever you feel bored; when you’re sick of your world, tired of your life.

You come to me usually ONLY when you feel it all.

And I keep waiting. I keep waiting for you to come. I keep standing there, smiling.

Just because I know one day you’ll need me, one day you’ll see.

And then, there you go.

Slowly walking, closer to me. Resting on my shoulder, telling me stories.

YOUR stories.

Yet I still feel happy and proud. I’m the one you can count on.

I’m the one you trust, the one who knows the whole story.

But then, days pass by. Your life gets back in its exciting way, and here I am.

Left behind. Un-needed. Not then.

But that’s okay. I never complain once, do I?

I’m happy for your good tidings, merry story, your victory.

I’m sad for your regret, disappointment, and defeat.

Then I know, I’m not really the one.

I’m not really the ONLY one you call when you’re sober.

I’m not really the ONLY one you tell your secrets.

I’m not really the one important to you.

Then who am I?

Because then I found out, there are people you share the more.

There are people you hang out with more.

So who am I to you, really?

Am I really that insignificant?

Just a phone number on your list?

Just a phone number that exists whenever the others do not?

And do you even notice that…??

I’m never too busy, too sick, too sad, too happy, too focused WITH MY LIFE

to listen to you, to lend you an ear and a shoulder.

Yes.

i AM disappointed.

i AM sad.

i feel WASTED.

Now you’re leaving. Just a week or two…

But why is it to me like ages??

Why does my heart ache whenever I think of your departure??

Why am I afraid there will be one MORE someone you can count on??

Maybe I fear that one day, you’ll bee too busy to look back and find me.

Maybe I fear that one day, you’ll have TOO MANY someone you can count on.

Maybe I fear that one day, you’ll have too many numbers on your list –

…

and you’ll erase me.

My phone number.

0815186****

Delete this contact?

Yes No

Inspired by my dear sister, a lil of my experience, and especially…

My dear old pal that’s feeling wasted, just like stated in the letter.

Labels: wordswords

cha-to2

cha-dvin-csan

mau2-csy-del-cha

kaki acha - badan davin

davin

laiye-cha-csy-monjul

n i had tears. lol stupid i know. but it brought tears to my eyes when i sat there on d swing, looking at all of them.. all of my friends whom had accompanied me for a year. an unnoticed passing-by year.. their laughters, their stupid jokes, their spirit, their wit.. GOSH! i've been extremely melodramatic these days but this is d peak. i felt so S-A-D dat we're (IGABAKAR) separating. and time left us only A YEAR in hi schooolll... uwaaaaa!! nooo...

i'm not ready yet. i dun wanna leave my teenagehood, my moment to be free, to be naughty, to have fun.. i dun wanna leave SANUR BSD, my second home for 6 years.. T.T i'm afraid yet so thrilled to face dat whole new world: university.

just like isoy, d thing i fear d most is.. to forget n be forgotten. i wonder.. what it would be in 5 yrs, 10 yrs frm now. will it be d same?? will they remember me?? if i die young, will they cry over it n come to my funeral??

it's not graduation. but by d end of d second term of school, i must feel kinda dis way.

"And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave NEXT year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound

And I keep thinking of that night in June

I didn't know much of love but it came too soon
And there was me and you and then we got real blue

Stay at home talking on the telephone

We would get so excited and we'd get so scared

Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels

As we go on

We remember all the times we had together

And as our lives change

Come whatever

We will still be Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs

And we make the big money

When we look back now will our jokes still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

Still be trying to break every single rule

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?

Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

And this is how it feels

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly"

(Vit.C - Graduation)

I LURV IGABAKAR.. <3

Labels: friendship, giddywhoop, ultimate experience

may-caes-cha

banyak bgd ah! hwe2

veda-cha-caes

ini malah lebih banyak lagi. ;)

saturday 13.06.09:

monik's blastday!! lol it started late a bit but it was great. i was so happy bcus finally, my besties can gather all complete!! x) caesa, niq, maya, metta, acha!! plus chin2. and even more plussss.. i got 2 new great, great friends. lol flo n alvie.. d power rangers girl!! x) they totally rocked.. n i lurv them already! lol all nite long i was hugging all my friends, one-by-one, or just all-at-a-time! :D again, i was mellow n low-spirited at first. but.. it got better. thanks to my homegirl, jessi! i owe u one, sweetie.. :) we had much fun..

well yeah, errors happened here n there. like rain right when candle time, or d fireworks wouldn't light, or.. yeaaa. u know. errors. lol but like forrest gump said, "shit happens". but no matter what, we still had muchos fun. especially d fireworks part.. n of course, d hang out part!! i really lurv my friends.. n i'm so thankful i have them :)

cha-flo-vie

metta-cha-may-sha

ranger biru-ranger pink-ranger kuning

sunday 14.06.09:

it started quite bad bcus i had to go to n go home from church over n over again for some times. while i hadn't even got to go to d mass!! i was preparing for niq's second surprise party tomorrow - actually it's to hand her our gift. ;) *i really hope niq doesnt read my blog tonite. nyehehe yeaa. so i went there in d morning to meet metta n fixed d card etc.

n finally, i was planning to go to church at nite. supposedly, i met my bro, gavin, there to finish up all d stuffs for monik. but he texted me n suddenly canceled it. okay. i felt like, "fine then, nevermind. really. but what d heck i should say to my mom??" bcus she was against d idea dat i walked to church alone at nite. i myself wasnt too afraid bout it, but well, u know moms.

so i texted gavin n asked him his permission to lie to my mom dat i would still be going wid him. anndddd dat corny bro of mine called me n shouted, "no lying to mom!!". n so, yeaa, u must have figured it out; i was panicking then. really, what else should i effin say to my mom??

but then he laughed like crazy. huuuuh. n i found out dat he was lying. -.-" really funny,ko. so he picked me up n we followed d mass together. oh! at d mass, i met a funny lil boy, maybe like 3-4 yrs old. he was soooo cuteeeeeee. he smiled n was starin at me all d time that gvn teased me dat i've got a new admirer *very funny. but i lurv dat lil guy. lol he was so friendly. he waved at me all d time, he gave me his beautiful smiles, n he totally cheered my day up. >.<

well then, finally... after d mass, gvn took me to mc'd bcus he made me buy him ice cream. grrrrrr. lol but he also bought me french fries, so it's even. x) *well, it's actually not, is it?? lol i thank God dat i have a brother like him n my besties like niq, cissy, manda, etc. >.<

well, to sum things up, my bro n i had much fun. even including d part when we thought dat my mom was mad bcus we suddenly went to mc'd out of nowhere. lol but thank God, she wasn't mad. she even joked bout it. nyehehe lurv u mom!! i know dat my mom really lurv my closest friends n think of them as her own children. especially my bro, gvn. so tonite, my mom made him an ultimatum. she said dat gavin should take care of himself, shouldnt skip school so much, n MUST have great grades n pass 11th grade. if not, she wont take him as my bro n he couldnt take me anywhere anymore. lol it was embarassing n i kinda wonder, why oh why on earth i have a corny mom n bro like them?? *not that im not thankful about it. lol

anyways. what i can say about my weekend is: perfecto. :]
n all i can say to ALL my closest friends n family is: i LURV u guys.. ^.^

i wish my besties+fam all d happiness in d world n may God's blessings be poured unto them.
and now.. signing off, folks!! :] thx for being special friends of mine.. yeaa! all of u! ;) mwawchh muchos lurv.. takecare~

Labels: friendship, giddywhoop, justmylife

Labels: justmythought, wordswords

obama, university of cairo - egypt

Labels: brand-new-beginning, justmythought, wordswords

Labels: friendship, giddywhoop, heart-this