“i am riding marsha-go-round”

October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 August 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 February 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011

i am me.
i love morning sunlight and blue skies.
i love shape-guessing clouds, i love stargazing.
i am really afraid of ghosts. and unfortunately in this case, i am highly imaginative - i can become a tad bit oversensitive to sounds, and start imagining shadows and things; especially after watching horror movies.

i am very random.
i overthink things.
i love pink and yellow and fuchsia and purple.
i REALLY love ice cream, especially cookies and cream.
i love french fries and chicken nugget.
i hate fatty, springy foods such as pork.

i often refer my life situation to those in dramas.

i really love daydreaming and imagining things.
i want to try to live in a flower, under the sea, underground, in a hollow tree, in an anthill, in the outer space, in an igloo.

i like to sing and dance in the bathroom.
well, actually i like to sing and dance just about everywhere.
i like to play and sing with my hairdryer - put it in front of my face and it will have two different functions: a microphone and a blower. presto, i'm at my own concert.

i like having some me-time. i even need it.
i like talking to myself. mostly in english.
i love reading and picturing what i read.

i really like giving out hugs to people. i think hugs are one of the most precious gifts you can give to someone. it makes you (or me, at the very least) feel warm, safe... and wanted. and loved.
i am a tad bit over-emotional. i cry reading a good book, i cry watching a good movie, i even started to cry when my boyfriend's grandma started talking about eating dogs. oh and i even couldn't help crying when my boyfriend refused to stop tickling me. well...

i love animals, especially the fluffy ones like penguins, polar bears, hippo...
i especially love dogs. oh, and elephants for their kind eyes.

i like inventing and playing with funny sounds such as munyu, ponyo, nyuu, nyaa, haiyanya etc. i can be obsessed with them for some times and then switch to the new ones.

i love wearing classic clothes.
i love swings, and snow domes, and music boxes.

i really love christmas.
i also like holy month Ramadhan (i am not a Moslem, but i really like the atmosphere of holy month Ramadhan).
i love opening up presents, but will be extra careful not to rip them wrappings. it will break my heart if i accidentally rip the cute ones.

i love watching random people. i love guessing what's on their mind, what's going on in their life, how it feels like to be them. sometimes i even forget how rude it is to stare.
i really love listening to people's story. i'd rather listen to a hundred stories than to tell my own story.
i am naturally quite introvert. the more attached i am to someone, the more open and childish i can be with them. that's because i'm letting my guards down.

i really hate it when i hurt people, both intentionally and unintentionally.
when i really love someone, i can love them so much that it comes to the point where all that matters is their happiness. where i feel like i would do anything, even sacrifice my own happiness, if that makes them happy.
it takes me really long to learn to say 'no' to people.

i love being cuddled.
i love being carried. i sometimes like being fed. :p
i still love balloons and making bubbles.
i still enjoy naming things; even the balloons i got from pizza hut. (i named them Jose Orenho and Yellow Band).

i can't live without emoticons. i always use them to make things less serious or scary. and the consequences? well, sometimes if i get text messages from people without emoticons, i will think that they are angry or bored with me.

i'm really awkward meeting new people, but most of the time i push myself to 'man-up' and give them a big grin. i pretend to be confident and i end up that way.

i really love giving praises. i really do. sometimes people think that i'm just doing that as an act of ass-kissing. or formality. or out of pity. well..? whatever. i really love giving them for the sake of praises itself. nothing else. i just find a healthy dose of praises never hurts.

i like 'collecting' quotes. and using them as references in situations.
i can't lie that i tend to care about what people think about me. it really hurts my feelings when i find out that someone's actually thinking bad of me.
i can be really superstitious. i believe that saying negative words, or telling good news that i'm not sure of yet, would jinx it.

i am ALL about marriage. i love imagining about it. enough said. :p

i always try to build connection and maintain communication with myself. to discover more about myself, to learn more, to improve, to understand, to love.

i love oldies music. i like jazz, i like blues, i like bossa nova, i like old pop.. and i think that louis armstrong's voice is the definition of 'delicious'.
it really means a lot to me when my mom said things like 'you're really are your dad's daughter. you have just his sense of music / way of thinking / etc..' as simple as they may be, they still mean a lot. it makes me feel a bit closer to him. (that's why i can also relate to harry potter, hanging to those moments when people tell him 'he has his mother's eyes' or 'he looks just like his father')

when almost every other girl is crazy about chocolate, well, i'm not so into it. i love ice cream better.

i love shopping and buying things for other people. it really is more satisfying.

i think, sometimes my motto can get up to the notch of 'perfect or nothing'. i have to be good at the thing i'm working in, or nothing at all. that's why sometimes i demand so high a standard from myself.

i still love barbie. and dolls. and stuffed animals.
when i am waiting for someone and i don't want to look stupid, i pretend to be busy telephoning people. (while the truth is i have no credit left to make a phone call). now you know.
when i am suspicious about something you do, or when i feel unhappy about your wrong-doing, i will give you a (suspicious/threatening) squint.

i loooove a hot shower. sometimes i pretend to be in a movie shoot, sitting on the floor of the bathroom, head down between my knees like crying, and let the water pour down on me. of course when i am in a deep agony i will do that for real as well.

when i was a kid, i wished to be a detective, a scientist, a vet...
i still secretly wish to try a 'hollywood life'. you know, how it's like to live in the limelight.
i still (insist on) believe(ing) that there's a magical world, like that in harry potter; that i will be able to visit it someday. oh and/or the magical world like in barbie movies.

i love collecting cinema tickets, memorable bus tickets, photographs, little notes from the past. memories.
i really don't want to live without the people i love: my family, my friends, Y, my dogs...
added on july 21st, 2011 at 01.20 PM: i just realized something. of course practically my dogs are not people. but they kinda are to me. (;

i have already named my kids. and planned what the house will look like. and how we (my future husband and i) will raise them.
i really want to work for humanity when i graduate.
i want to live a happy and fruitful life, with no regret on my deathbed...


now that is long. when i started this, i didn't expect it to come this far, sorry :p
well... i guess i am still this little girl who believes that her life is a fairy tale... or no, scratch that - rather, a good novel.
i believe my life will be like a good novel.
it will have an amazing story in it; not perfect - just... strangely familiar, and inspiring, and touching, and moving, to the hearts of those who read it.
and like every good novel, hopefully when it ends, those who've read it will feel they're losing a best friend. (: i hope.

Labels: it's-so-me, justmythought, randoming