Doodleyscratch

“i am riding marsha-go-round”

random

14.12.10 || 9:29:00 PM

random.
RANDOM.

i warn you: tonight is the night of random post.

first i'm feeling a rebel persona is showing its face from inside of me.
somehow i feel like i've always been doing or told to do what's the right thing to do and what i ought to do and what i should do and blah blah blah the ideals.
but tonight is a new case:
tomorrow i'm having probably the hardest exam, with so much materials.
i havent touched my book. not the slightest bit.
i'm feeling like i wanna be irresponsible just for one night.
hhas weird.

second. I AM A DREAMER. i can be this mature young-adult while being this little girl.
i wanna marry my true love around the age of 25s.
i wanna have two children - one boy one girl. both of them have been named by me.
i know what my house would look like. i know how i want it to be.
i want to work at NGO like one.org or other NGOs that work against poverty.
i wanna learn philosophy and dance all my life.
i wanna have three dogs from three different breeds with different names i've been giving them.
i know where i want to go on each vacation. my top-10 must visit places.
i know where i want to spend my honeymoon. how it would be like.
i know what songs to play during wedding. what cake what dress.
i want to do something good for the world. i want to make it a better place.
i want to see less poverty less hatred and i wanna help make em all come true.
i wanna work with the homeless and share with them both joy and sorrow.
i wanna give em a place to crash.
i wish to be a girl - or a woman in that matter - that can be relied upon. that people believe in is dependable.
and blah blah blah.

third. i wanna eat more ice cream. i don't care that today i've already eaten two paddle-pop mini moo.

fourth. i want christmas!

fifth. there are so many things i wanna write about. my opinions about things. my feelings. my blah blah blah. but i can't write em all now. later. i will.

I WANNA GO TO BED AND FORGET THE REST OF THE WORLD TONIGHT.
phew. this is a new and foreign concept to me.
i suddenly just feel tired with all the responsibility and the 'tough-girl' character i always try to make myself into.
i also suddenly remember the quote 'even the superhero has the right to bleed'.
is it so selfish of me if i feel like - just for tonite - i wanna go to bed and forget the rest of the world? just for tonight, i promise.

wait.
am i some kinda psychopatic neurotic random girl?

huh. don't care.

*ignore this post. or not. whatever. ain't really mind nothin just for tonight.

Labels: randoming

superhero?

13.12.10 || 11:11:00 PM

i'm always trying to be a superhero.
no matter what it takes.
i am strong. i am strong.
i know i am strong enough. (:

Labels: justmylife

official version

11.12.10 || 10:13:00 PM

this is the official version of the 'a little help' that i tagged to some of my friends and relatives in facebook:

dear friends and family.
i write this note not entirely with light heart.
in a way it feels hard to do so.. but i have to admit i've got a problem..
and in a way i need a little help.

well, i'm facing some kind of situation right now.
to be more precise, financial issue for my college tuition.
i thought i could apply for scholarship, just like i did when i just got in.
but then i found out from the administration staffs that first-year students can't apply for any.
i also found out from my mom that we're not really in condition to make it in time - and the due date is jan 7th.
if we don't make it by that time... well, i guess it's clear enough, isn't it?

so basically i'm gonna try my best to make ends meet.
i'm gonna ask for dispensation from my department in uni, maybe a longer time span.
and i'm gonna look for new source of scholarship.

so by writing to you through this note,
i'm asking you deeply..
if any of you know any source of scholarship,
or if you know anyone that's willing to be a foster parent for financing college tuition...
will you be so kind and please please please inform me?? i will never thank you enough (:

but even if you dont know any, dont worry.
you stplease pray with me (: i owe you one.ill have my warmest love and regards.
and my biggest thanks for keep being there for me. all along. (:

i love you people.
please pray with me (: i owe you one.
GOD BLESSSS YOU.

PS.
i have made a proposal for scholarship, along with the CVs, certificates and stuffs.
i have all the documents,
so you can just ask me for them if you have any relative or acquaintance that you're willing to give it to.
thanks again. (: GBU big time.

i'm sorry if this is too much of a nuisance. if it is, you can just ignore this note. (;

yeaa.. i wanna say thanks AGAIN and A LOT to all the people who have responded to that note in facebook. even those who i didn't tag and never thought will even bother to read it.. i got such unexpected responds and it really set my heart alight. (':

i'm not the one comfortable enuf asking around for help.. i have to admit that for this kinda thing, mostly my pride is just too big. so once i finally let those walls down, and got such huge touching responds... i cant help myself but got misty-eyed a bit. (':

i can never thank you enough, each and every one of you caring enuf to even bother with my problem. may God bless you.. always. (:

Labels: justmylife

a little help (:

10.12.10 || 9:34:00 PM

a little help (:

hey people! long time no talk.
got lots of news to share. (x
yeaaa i'm having my semestrial exams for these 2 weeks whooopeeee! hhas
let's hope for the best of it, shall we? *winkk

anddd...
i was recruited into a dance crew to perform in Temu Akrab HI (TAHI) 2010, or Gathering for UNPAR International Relations Students, presented by the class of 2010. my first time to perform real hiphop sexy dance sooo.. kinda nervous! hard time practicing but thank God we managed em well (x will show ya some pics later.

anywayy in no mood for blabbering too much. im facing some kinda situation ryte now.
mmm well... im in the middle of financial issue for my college tuition.
i thought i could apply for scholarship, just like i did before i got in.
but then i found out that first-year students can't apply for any. i was like... DANG!
and i had prepared aaaaall the documents. shoot.
i texted my mom and then found out again that... well, basically we're in no condition to pay all those bloody tuition in time. we're probably not making it - and the due date is jan 7th. if we dont make it till then, well.. clear enuf, isn't it?
so basically i'm trying my best - and kinda dying - here. im gonna ask for some dispensation, maybe a time span or idk.
and i have also made a scholarship proposal, with CV, and stuffs..
sooo...
you guys, please please PLEAAASE. if any of you know any source of scholarship, anyone that's willing to be a foster parent for financing college... will you be so kind and please please please inform me?? i will never thank you enuf (:

but even if you dont know any, dont worry. you still have my warmest love and regards. and my biggest thanks for keep being there for me. all along. (:

i love you people.
please pray with me (: i owe you one.
GOD BLESSSS YOU.

PS.
i have the proposal and CV docs, so you can just ask me for em if you have any relative or acquaintance that you're willing to give it to. thanks muchoooosssss

Labels: justmylife, ultimate experience