“i am riding marsha-go-round”
THANK YOU 2010, WELCOME 2011 (:
25.2.11 || 8:13:00 PM
i know it's a little late to post about the new year of 2011, the self-objectives this year, the evaluation of last year..
nevertheless, i'd still like to post it. just for the sake of myself. to make it clearer, more real to me, instead of surreal. something to look back in the midst year, to cherish, to be grateful about, to remind me, to 'punish' me if i deviate or violate my very own objectives. (:
so... let's start, shall we? :DD
this year.. was full of up and down. SO FULL.
1. academic life:
i completed my high school study majoring in Science, thank God ranking first, and got into the Department of International Relations in Parahyangan Catholic University, Bandung.
i have to admit it was kinda hard to adapt to 'having-to-start-all-over-again-right-from-the-very-bottom'. it had me depressed at my lowest point sometimes.
not much participation in committees (although yes, i got into IREC as funraiser staff, RUN as first secretary, Unpar Radio Station as producer, and TAHI as 2010 dance crew member). also wasn't so sure about my academic achievement..
but thanks to my super heroes (GOD-family-friends-boyfriend), i could try and fight hard. i can't stop giving thanks to MY HEROES. (: my hugs for you all, love.
i ended this year with a i on my face. i managed to get a 4 score for my GPA (or, IP - indeks prestasi, in Bahasa) which means straight A's, i was honestly not really sure how it happened, but all i can do is giving thanks to GOD. :DD this will be a good starting point, and to some extent, trigger point, to whip my ass in becoming more hard-working. (: yaay!
my senior year in high school? superb year for this topic. i really do cherish all the great, great, AMAZING friends i make in high school. i REALLY hope it is everlasting, guys. (:
i admit that in this year, sadly, i also hurt one of my bestest girl.
i really didn't mean to hurt you. it broke my heart to do so. i am so sorry everything went wrong. i am so sorry because i know, this 'incident' made you see me as a disloyal, back-stabbing friend. i am so deeply sorry, i really hope that your heart is finally mended. i'm glad i finally got the courage to speak up to you and apologize appropriately in 2010 also. (:
i don't know whether you have forgiven me completely or not since the talk. but i still pray for you, that your heart is perfectly mended, that i don't cause you lose trust in people (for fearing they may hurt you just the way i did), and that our friendship can last. and even if it can not go back to the way it was, i just want to let you know: i am grateful for the chance when i can call you my friend. (:
in this year of 2010, i also make super amazing friends in college. from the seven super girls in the beginning of the year - wild, easily lovable girls from different background and faculties, to the random friends around campus, and to my IR besties. (: i can't really elaborate how thankful i am to meet you guys. without you, it will be impossible for me to survive and be like what i am now. (: much love! and we will hang out soon! we should. real soon. : p
2010.. i can't describe how grateful, how happy, how joyous i am to find you in this year. i can't say with the exact words how much you've been caring for me, how much you've encouraged me, how much you've given me all the laugh and comfort i need, how much you've touched me with your love.
how much i love you. (:
hey, we will keep our promise to keep fighting for this, right? like you always say to me, 'always together'. we will make this work. (:
i am sorry for the times i let you down, made you jealous, disappointed you.. all the tears we share, all the laughs we have, all the unspeakable too-great-a-feeling.. (:
hey, remember when you surprised me with dipsy? remember the ice-creams? the soccer matches? the dolphin show? when we decorate the xmas tree, together with my mom and mbok? remember the first time you introduce me to your family? and you to mine? (:
thank you. thank you. thank you.
thank you, sayang. aku sayang kamu. (':
4. financial problems:
in this year of 2010, i also faced a severe financial problem that threatened my future in UNPAR. my mom and i nearly failed to meet the college tuition in time, due to the lack of information because of which i lost the chance to fight for a scholarship. as you probably knew, i then put an emergency request in facebook and blogspot to collect information about scholarships or foster-parents.
i was really touched by the amount of care and thoughts you have all given me. the support even came from the people i had not expected. quite a number of seniors messaged me in private, suggesting ways i could try(: it was really encouraging and heart-moving. thank you, guys, i can't thank you enough. (:
but thank GOD, HE eventually provided us a way. a generous old friend of mine told me that her father probably could help. and this generous father did help. knowing my academic record, he gathered some people who were willing to help my mom and i save my future in college. and.. there it goes. we managed to get me back in time. (: thank you..
thanks, GOD, for all these generous, honorable people. may Your blessings be upon them.
a new beginning has come! i remember one day when i traveled back to bsd from bandung. i usually sleep all through the travel *hhe : p but that day, i could not. i got engaged with the blue sky. yes, it was exceptionally bright blue, with scattered real white clouds, that gave you sense of BIG. BROAD.
at that point, something like woke up inside of me. like what usually happens when i am looking at the sky, i realise just how big this world is. how broad it is. how much left for me to discover. and at that point, i promised myself that someday i would travel that blue sky. i would get the chance to see the world i've been longing to see. i would work my ass so hard that i would finally make it true. and that, marked the shifting year to 2011. (:
1. college life:
yaaay! a brand new semester! :DD this semester, i will be attending brand new classes. with more demanding, yet SO intelligent, professors. with more assignments. with more analysis and brain-excercise : p i'm quite intimidated! i realized in no time that this semester will be 180o different from the last one. i should put more effort in order to maintain my performance. but.. i will fight and do my best. i have to. i will. (;
yet this semester, i get involved in more committees. i am still the funraiser staff in IREC, the producer in unpar radio station. and now, i am also the decoration staff in PMKT 2011, the protocol staff in PMUN 2011, and...
bam! the coordinator of matter and research division of GINRTRE 2011! wow. this last one DID blow my mind away. i never, EVER had once imagined that i would be appointed this position. i get a little scared then, i really don't wanna screw anything. but thank God yet again, that i have this amazing staff of mine! go fellow matterian! we will rock GINTRE 2011, won't we? *winkk. (;
really hope that this semester, everything goes well in my college life. i hope i can enhance my performance! yaaay!
2. love and friendship
memorable moment in the early months of 2011... my birthday surprise! i was prepared to spend the day alone, working on my paper, what with my friends cancelling our 'going-out' and my boyfriend attending another event *chinese new year happened to be on the same day as my birthday. awesome, eh? : p
but you know what...? WOW! my boyfriend came to surprise me. knocking on the door, huge candled birthday oreo-cheese cake on his hands, amazing presents.. *yeah, present-S. that's a plural, wew!
and not so long after, my friends that cancelled our going-out came bringing me a hand-made collage as a gift.. awww (':
and in the night, auntie lily and family took me to a place named 'dago atas'. amazing, amazing night city view from uphills! and great food as well. :DD
thanks a lot! BIG THANKS YOU GUYS! can't thank you enoughh!
i hope to make more and more new friends this year, while still keeping the old inside my heart. i will be more thankful for these amazing friends i have now (and the ones that are *hopefully* coming this year). (:
and as to my love life... i will appreciate what we have more. i will protect you, and try my best not to let you down. i hope we can communicate better, understand each other better, and do not get bored to keep the learning-process of each other going. (:
SO.it comes to a point where i have to conclude what my objectives for this year are.
1. i will be more honest to myself. have honest conversations with myself, try to know myself better.
2. i will be more discipline. abide the timetable or schedule i make myself.
3. i will try and be a good person, good friend for everyone. try not to demand people to greet me first, acknowledge me first, blablabla first. instead, i am willing to take the initiative to greet, to smile, to lend a hand.
4. however, i will remember: i don't live to please everyone else. my life is up to me, and it is my responsibility to get it right. i will decide what is good for me and what is not, and stick to it.
5. i will give more appreciation and respect to precious ones around me - family, friends, lover, even pets and things.
6. i will work hard to keep up my performance academically, find a way to fund my college study - whether it be scholarships, foster-parent program, or part-timing.
and these.. are the evaluations and hopes i have from 2010-2011. (:
have you got any? you are most welcome to share them.
and let's support each other in achieving those hopes! yaaaaaaay. we can! :DD
may GOD bless us this whole year round.
a brand new beginning
|| 5:44:00 PM
this is a brand new beginning. i promise myself. (: