Doodleyscratch

“i am riding marsha-go-round”

something to think

4.10.09 || 4:45:00 PM

today, well to be precise, just now.. ive got a bunch to think about.
so much that i dont even kno where to begin.

but let's start with the very first.
eathquakes in indonesia.
tasikmalaya - west java, padang - west sumatera, jambi - sumatera, manokwari - papua.
i could only say, im really sorry for all the victims. i can say that i know how they all feel, but it would be such a bullsh*t. no, i dunno how the hell it feels for i have never been in their shoes. and to be honest, no matter how selfish, i actually pray to God not to be in their shoes.
but this tragedy reminds me of how fragile humans are. how insignificant we are to this earth, how nature can squeeze and crush us in no time. while we keep being ignorant, aphatist, and insisting on controlling our mother earth. but the fact is, we cant. if nature decides to shake and crack, what on earth could we do? except praying and do our best to survive, to preserve our existence.
life is short and future is unpredictable. well, we can hypothetize and theoretize. and we actually know what might happen if we still insist on doing what we've been doing for centuries - which is destroying our own habitat.
but gosh, we can be so blind and stubborn! it's a tough fight, to resist our nature to dominate and control. to master the earth and the nature. it's a tough fight, to stop our old habit.
i myself often lose the fight. but i've decided not to quit.
earthquakes, you can say, is not the matter of human's act. it's just.. natural. we dont move the plates and cause the earthquake, right? well, maybe you're ryte. but here it is. do you think it can be a signal to remind us, that we're nothing without nature? and above all, without God?
do you think we can finally survive? once again, deal with the nature and be friends? create the peace we all succumb to fight for? preserve this earth for our future generation?
the answer is in our very hands, and apparently, especially in the hands of my very own generation.

and then, i read this blog of a junior.
http://cowogaadakerjaan.blogspot.com/
a must-visit. really masculin, with a nice sense of humor, and the most important: stuffed with this whole heaps of matters to think about. simple but important daily questions we all ask to ourselves.
most of the posts get me thinking about life. the reasons and purpose why i'm still alive up to this very moment. the heavenly plan, God's plan for me.
i dont really know. all i want is to do something good for the world. for my family and friends. for all my beloved ones. for myself, and especially for God.
but it's especially his posts on sept6th and 13th that get me thinkin. he's a junior and he's already thinking about his future. he already realises the needs to grow up, to let go of the delusion and comfort of being a child. that the earth keeps spinnin, the time keeps runnin, and you should get on it before you get left behind. that you should make the most of your every breath and be thankful to God.
WELL, I'M A SENIOR.
yes, i've thought about my future. i realise the needs to grow up and focus on my future. but i still dont take the full responsibility, i think. i mean, i know what major i wanna take for college. i know what career i wanna pursue. but.. i think i'm not 100% sure. it all still feels like a dream for me, like it's not real.
but HELL-O, missy. wake up. it's real. R-E-A-L. so get ur ass up and work it out, girl!
i will make the best of my senior year. i will work hard and never quit. i will do my tasks. i will walk the long and rocky path for i believe that the end is worth every second of my perseverance.
i will fight! i can do it! yeaaa! i can rise and shine!! and you all can do it too!! yeaaa!!
open up the jack daniel and have a toast. a toast for this life! celebrate every second and take God with you along the journey. and everything will be just fine!! yea!!
*a lil bit too much, don'cha think?? lols honestly, i kinda get fired up.
so thanks joshua, though u probably dunno, but ur blog has burned my spirit once again! :D:D

and last. this one's a bad news.
comes from one of my besties, a sad story.
a story of how one can do things, extreme things, because of general stereotype.
a story of how one want to change herself so bad, how one cant love herself.
all because this shit called stereotyping:
skinny = beautiful. beautiful = skinny.
fat people suck. students with lots of bad score are actually useless.

HELL. how i wanna throw those who make those stereotypes to a pond of sharks!
i mean, it'll be beautiful if that makes my bestie, and whole other people that are just so insecure bout theirselves because of it, wanna change in ryte n good way.
oops, but nope. it's way too simple. she needs to change in an instant stupid way. way that will get her sick, really sick.
and i'm honestly frustrated! i mean, what the hell can i do?? how can i change her perspective, her WRONG judgment on herself??
it made me feel useless as a bestfriend. i'm out of ideas. i've tried all the methods. i've tried the slow and gentle approach, a harsh speech..
and finally, i just gave her all my opinions. that we are all beautiful in our own ways, we all can shine. it all matters to what we think, not what THEY think. and this situation is just perfect to classify those who are her true friends from those who are not, those who truly lurv her the way she is and those who dont.
then i left her to think it over. i could only say, 'ive given u my thoughts. and now ure a grown up. i believe u know the right decision. ur heart does. i believe u'll make the right decision. i believe in you. i love you.'
i can only hope that actually makes her realise the truth.

honey, i lurv u! u ARE beautiful.

please, guys. pray with me.
for the victims of natural disasters all around the world.
for the victims of wars.
for the victims of corruption, injustice, stereotyping.
and for my bestie.

please..? i'll thank u my whole life..
Godbless ya people. hope this can get u thinking.
hope this can help u make the right choice.
signing off.. :):)

Labels: c'est la vie, justmythought